By: Jack Wang, LPC-A
Imagine a blank canvas in front of you, and then try to create a painting that represents your life.
What did you end up creating? Is it a serene landscape? A family portrait? Is it filled with abstract shapes? Maybe it’s a person’s face with an expression joy… or sadness? Perhaps the painting represents anger at the injustices you’ve suffered, or maybe you didn’t commit any paint to the canvas in the first place.
Whatever you created is a valid expression of the self in all its complexity or simplicity.
How do you feel looking back at the painting you’ve created? Satisfaction? Sadness? Disappointment? Does it inspire you to do something? Whatever you are feeling, where is it coming from and why is it there?
Now imagine showing your painting to a loved one. Would you feel like he or she would understand the painting? Maybe they’ll admire your work, comment on its meaningful imagery, and it may feel like they know why you painted what you painted.
Or do they look at the painting and say, “I don’t get it,” “That doesn’t make sense,” “Are you sure you meant this?” or “I didn’t know you felt this way.” Many times, the people who say these are well meaning and want to understand you, but these phrases can come across as invalidating and hurtful.
Maybe it’s too high of an expectation for someone else to understand your painting the way you want them to, but regardless, I wish everyone has someone in their life that can appreciate their painting. It’s a shame not everyone receives such a luxury.
Consider seeing a therapist if you feel like that painting of yours is tragic in nature and the people around you don’t understand or know how to help. Everyone deserves to feel heard, to feel understood, and to have their painting be one they love to look at.
Jack is a Licensed Professional Counselor – Associate, practicing under the supervision of Stefanie C. Barthmare, LPC-S.
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